Katy Carr and the Aviators Kommander's Car

Come back to www.estianddad.blogspot.com soo ooon..

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

connect, only....

.. the moral of the story, but it is the story, tell it no matter what, even to stranger Ian...from up the "path?"
never don't even if the time gone... give up leveling out the humps.... when you are indeed ready to pass it on.
Am ready.



So, the bit Houellebecq missed out, or perhaps didn't see; stuck in side three forever...
authority, perhaps creating the greatest authority of the lot is the moment the postmodern rush away from it.... in fear, fear....
weird authority is the only fun there really ever was, and if the plebs, especially the Hesse indoctrinated, cannot work together in symphony even if it does involve the piccolo stabbing the base drum, some of the time.... moral support, means respect, and it is always a two way game.

I put my trust in you....
But, the delivery, young men do have some purpose, but a modern day Bertrand, needs to be so discerning what he may be listening to on his analogue 80something cycling up and down the dales pretending he is 25....
But be clear, as if there ~geographically at that point in time and once a century.... America could never do that...

to think.....

the last time, ever.....
I wonder what it meant, then..... perhaps it did take several years to be less frightened of it.... loyalty is that several decades on, I am still loyal.

That is IT!!

... so as a "socialist" except I was in a queue to see Mr Ignatief, with my little one, some what was it gosh wehere does the time go, ten years agoish.... no it wasn't it must have been earlier there is me false memorising, as everyone does except digital copies ...hahh there isn't enough time in the second half of life to go back through it....
So it must have been 1997, summer, just after the grandees got in, of the left, and made out they were above queueing like everyone else, in to see the democrat personified, too....
A socialist notices, problems....

Fucking Blears, "we want all our MPs to be seen in B+Q of a day off just like everyone else...."
Ehhh, no we don't love, what we want is people who are above the ridiculous petit bourgeoisie which swept the lands a few decades back that perfectly good coats of pain that even look interesting as they peel off, I mean I lived a mile ~ hilly mile, up high mile, from a pub they gradually flocked to by dint of the flock peeling as it hadn't been replaced 75 years....
What we want is thinkers, and  being as every single shopping experience is filled with tat culture full volume some Taylor Swift or
just American
The problem of course has always been the insecure, over sugared, lower class garbage which sits there perfectly able to rule the world, and learn how to, but fidgeting with pigeons instead.... and then when their offspring make it to Wolverhampton polly, they spout endless thoughtless rubbish in that smug fastspeak of the of course I am right, because I am the first generation,blah di....

(ed note a few days later, clearing a few in backlog, Sunday... my radio now welded off, especially when the adverts the last few days yet another American... why no Pakkis giving the Reith lecture? I mean, all westerners can go on about in their dredaful trailers is the "science of knowing" evry little thing they know they are entitled to, well young American Black men are entitled to life too... and well rather a lot other...  "housekeeping" ... the legal term used to tend to the paperwork, get it ion order, all nicely presentable and sequential....does not mean that parents will be cut out of the role they will always have some positive ... well, stick their fingers over the holes... but the definition of a humanist, is play it both ways at once ~ their way, and mine.... )

authority, but also, I wonder if anyone has speculated

whom it is for....

and then, the price.
Take one absolutely sublime moment, like now, that isn't sublime sublime the way Mr Burke I catch may even have been in on the act of surely not quite getting it right, or one would know surely....
Me, I am lucky, and there was nothing in that long ago time young adult get what yer given, any good.... but I am lucky not to be both overwhelmed "and underwhelmed, too..." and not so bleak that I would not know that now THERE'S a philosopher in the making....
Exactly what I wanted to be (not me, too wimp never mind overwhelmed by all that cleverness)... but the sublime sublime, there is not really much point sharing it, one's thoughts, because logically it can only be there as pleasure for onesself...because it is, that is all the point, is... silly me!

Of course it is just a case of hahh would've thought dead by now, never mind rushing up on twenty something...legs whenever there is a break in the late autumn mists and gloom....
  
started yest finished...now
that is the whole, point...it is mine.
Anyway a profound reprint, of profound when the winter corn had not yet sprouted.... in the preliminary start up and practise session....
There is one person and at last yesterday I got to him, or at least his bones...perhaps... the story is yet to enter its last unanswered email phase
He would walk with me, who knows if the simulation is as, well we cannot imagine; that is the deal, but he would say, "eeeh lad, pretty bad, when..."

What is the clever way of ... a lovely scene, but also not so...
If you knew. What the point is....
But the point of some of it is why didn't I think before, just for me.

Monday, 24 November 2014

be profound

if you can and you cannot have it both ways.... will be such a boring byeline for decades. Now the subversion, is that at last one returns to what is seen mid last year. And the first of the new crop. What is profound.... that is not a question, what is the question is .... that is not a question either. Wandering the land, many a jolly good fun journey around all the silly claims by one thinker or other (indeed, influence, the arrests of the 2050s? those who played around with influence for self serving reasons, influence is ... too big to think through... )
The so called post~modern, is ridiculous, sloppy and lazy thinking... to which one will return; but that notion, nay demand, you will leave the consumer/viewer to interpret some image however the notion takes you, right, but daft. And as for symbolism~there is a book or two that will, should, of course they will! be placed either side of this photograph (I have only ever used the word image as skit, if I have).  A photograph only truly takes on that extra something, when you know what the people are up to around and about it.

Sunday, 23 November 2014

hahhh hahh yer still there i thought i had outlogged in which case the punchline would be lost in the afternoon of sunshine on the hills...
both off youtube...
One maybe more truthfully than 'tother...
there's a kind of smile.... that too seems to have been updated to something that can never be the same in communication....
being grateful for whatever yer given, and memories of it too.... is all the key ever was.

anyway far more important

Just as about to head off....to the light, that up in them hills light, it's impossible to get to the meaning of life, and actually get around to writing it up... unless there is a prolonged very very murky and foggy period of gloom....

It is something like, what the Junipers or even Farages will ever manage, being even if every Romanian in Europe moved here as windowcleaner to all the rest a few steps up the ladder up, as in the other 200 mil, it would not actually effect your soul, being most of you just stay in one box or other....
And you even seek out the little crowds of the towns even the really dreary ones.... so few bother with the spaces.

All that matters, if someone had said to me even three years ago that if you had the resources would you put first on the shopping list of what to get if there are ever are....
A gas bottle.
Now, the only true real pleasure in life is even the theoretical eco whatever we may call all those birds a chirping ... all so entitled to demand change. None would get that, that process (every single human need, melodrama, footstamping, can be neutralised by seeing the need to process all, especially when the enemy is just laziness) ...
Pleasure is... hmm....some is earned, a few years back fearing never being able to afford the gas bottle, and over a period gradually the few logs, few sticks in summer... not just representing cost of jolly good healthy enough , much from scratch and you should see last crimbo days roast.... well actually Bday as too busy the horrid c day...
eat well, on no energy costs .... but also as the habit moves on from chore with that bitter tang of necessity.... and jealousy for a world where all would have their ten bottles a year... realising that not even for any pious hairy shirt reasons... there is some elemental balancing joy of...
being so smug even a thick pleb like me develops... becomes artful... learns to enjoy tending every smallest patch of sparks into just enough flame to zap the scrambled eggs or even roast the pizza such that it is just right....all for...free.
Now that is pleasure such that one would not all the gold in the Bundesbank...wish it ever to change.

Perhaps, the key... now I do love a bit of female oral, indeed
For every five minutes of sweaty manstuf.... my turntable turned with ...
The great pretence that people can be figured.....well in all my hours of wanking at the screen, and how on earth can that not have had a seriously major effect on a whole generation, yet to quite .... that and the inevitable deep down brutalisation by dint of so many real live deaths available at a click... I think ...well thats a noother day. I've never in my life fantasised even for a moment on having a blowjob... demeaning if you ask me, if you are my soul...
And then one day I was given the only great one ever not even wished for....
that also goes down in memory banks to be recalled in pure hifi any time i wish...
Which is perfect metaphor for, you just get what yer given... thats

And metaphor for the whole damn thing, I bet Little Miss Nicklinson is still milking the smelly one of the death cult that is far more the West than the East...
There you are, never even heard of her til a month back... and there is no question that (because girls! because she smokes as you can hear between the words..)
the greatest female oral of all time, you only find a week ago no recommendations all is just randomly stumbled upon which sadly a couple of years ago even the wise owl old hippy from the Golden Valley on the bus could no longer get...him demanding access to review what music was playing at the local stadium, before going there and randomly being moved...
the greatest oral of all time is...


 which is just metaphor, for....assume nothing
Now, the profound starts..... when the revisit begins....



Now, quick last flourish of ...well reality, before one returns to the profound, never mind the new theory of words....
Words like "lonely" even silly Monbiot parasitises even if he's at least a fine chap for self publishing every penny he spends on sweeties

(that reminds, sweeties, I notice, listen.... and noticed, of course they are starting common sense people's parliaments in Spain, frogs will follow too once they've adjusted to so many decades being nasty to brown people, yet it is interesting that they the far more obvious culprits haven't had seven seven sevens....the what not is interesting! None of our so called media even Galloway can manage to wedge into the story of whats the story...
It was so interesting in the 80s to trudge around Europe, having the occasional YUK conditioning into need for a chokky bar... to find that almost all these sensible places priced a snicker at three times going rate in YUK.... I think it says a hell of a lot about Europe, we need to know....
And theres another one, you so rarely hear parents nowadays at the checkouts even half heartedly suggesting that two packets of sweeties every day after school may be murdering their kids...
Fine civilisations at least put a pricetag on dodgy foodstuff such that they will hardly even appear in the culture....)

lonely, now I am the loneliest person in the land....  being one simply cannot imagine nowadays finding anyone who may nod in just simplest human solidarity of an opinion shared of "unless you've got Ebola on top of cancer well almost all pills especially painkillers which don't much anyway, ...they can ALL be lived without and it trains your mind into not needing them, cos almost all have side effects we don't even begin to understand... so forget them, take pill out of your lexicon never mind shopping bag...always"
No one exists who thinks like that any more = loneliness.... But I am not. Togetherness is only shared notions of cultural equivalence. So I have St Ex levels of risk factor on my own private little planet....

The short version, I brought myself up ~ balanced nourishment, sideplate....Pilger,  tariq Ali, Chomsky, Ignatieff, ehh what else was in my library before I lost it... loadsa hooknosed biologists and philosophers of science... plenty of intelligent Marxism even if I don't know what it is, but the biography is great... T Bernhard,  Levi.... And then clever latercomers Mr James... and even Mr Bentall who knows there is something unsayable about "madness" we haven't said yet, but can't find the words yet...
 etc..
Simply put it didn't work. The whole progressive and inteligent and certainly well~meaning, project, failed....
For a reason that deep down I always knew was there in people who sat and read every Chommers to Goldacre...

That cannot be put into one simple line, or maybe it has....been somehow lived.... in which case, at least have a go, making it live.

Fear, the real paradox of many and it is silly yin and yang speak which fail to provide any meaning whatsoever ... is that only by facing up, down, off... the small, the everyday real aggros of the supposedly entirely disempowered macro existence at the bottom of everyones list.... may one in fact develop the kind of character to have something perhaps genuinely useful to bring to the maxi...
Fear is only there because people spend far too much time wondering about the big politics of it all, never mind their future and not doing the little stuff that can take years and never cease to surprise in how easy it is to make the small stuff kinda work out, and genuinely nourish... to spite  just about every instruction book going.

As for your SM.... of course the paradox is once again, just like democracy itself, two opposing opposites ~ the ability to reach out as never before, well not true actually as it is all relative being in the days of the pamphleteer the words were valued more down the pub or post office queue and caused far far more self published ructions ... and were just as traceable, or maybe  ab it less...
yet this ridiculous notion the young are so so infused with that everything in your past may be used against you in the future.... so don't say much at all.

And as for .... well TBC... hilarious, some research I did last year on a tool.... I do my research and shopping VERY carefully when i do do it and it involves me forking out...
500 hrs of self published warts and all! ... they allude.....and they left out the BIG one.... that when the camera wasn't pointing they were at each other hammer and icepick....
I do not think we have even begun to come of age yet..... which means there is hope, never mind cause ...to bother living on .. even maybe  a tad more influence. Which should not be something to be coy about....
especially when you know that really only after phase two..you are ready.






Be clear though, as their dreadful crystals they conartist and discovered could with more ease over these necks of the woods, live off, rather than doing the real~people stuff of trying to think as that cohort may have been most suited to.... I pinpoint it to about 12 or 13 years ago.... silly me.

I am not a moaner,(largely stories relate to 2013...anus what? hmm, later..) thats the key though, you can take everyman, or everywoman ~ i don't deal in the marginal, I am interested in the median, the what~really~should be if the townie social movements of Islington et Al actually were in any way intelligent and for a second sincere rather than just a load of charities their fuckin ilk could have on their CVs as trustifarian hence all the great future networking ops...for their own benefit,just as fucking bleak as Blair....
because the fat Camillas I doubt actually did any real good, real good comes from showing people that almost no one is a victim and if they manage to put up with the silliness of their past, themselves, they are exactly what they are, reborn every half a dozen years and can just laugh at what the last lump of cells had to endure... rather than the amounts of boards one can join exponentially explode whilst younger people they parasitise get bleaker and less likely to ever think they can go through life without one forum to support or pill to pop... and paracetamols (its got THAT in spellcheck of course when it can't even manage its own name, ehh lacuna and other simple words there was another yest that beggared belief..) are pills just as any other... with a downside, and it is not the physical downside that matters most....

take one most contemporary everywoman, expose to Attenborough, see it become addicted....  hear it spout out of earshot its addiction... kinda real....
(lost my track now, oh well...)
secretly record it preaching exactly what you  hoped it would take in, never really imagining it may, though, as hope is the hard one, you learn to avoid, cos it equals pain of course.......to its own disciples, because of course control is your obsession the notion everyone is, and will.... and use control for their own benefit, which it never is....
But that is another decade on the keys.....

Fear,
oh yes moaning, I only moan when it suits, as in the rather sexy librarian by dint of her sexy grey hair ~ no dyes.... it takes a lot to get me being the real me, as in sexual attraction... "woe is me, I just...please, maybe you are part of the magical journey, i put it to you, I just cannot, havent for years since Primo and Tommy taken from us.... found anything even half intelligent to ...read...[long rather well informed riffing on Norwegian wank follows bet that impressed her, nothing more fun than being at the desk mud spattered wellies and very very cheap but new rather stylish trousers mud spattered too....
proving to the person whos fucking job it is to know just a little about contemporary ~ i.e. hyped up, for no good reason really except the obvious, literature, you have not only read all of it but have thought about why, too....
who's never heard of him....]"
The amount of really rather acceptable wimmin ownageish... must make a second visit to, rather fab ones... shame really, sucha  shame, because you do know, you can tell, how they're all beginning to deep down figure thrirty so boring years ahead of them as they rot, absolutely paralysed, not only no cuddles~real ones, but dare not speak out properly... about just the normal stuff of life thats far more interesting in fat is all there is...
But the whole thing became for them one never ending default to cake...and more cake... and saccharine versions of art and life and ...
It is in fact the middle aged, the 50ish something, whom have the actual tools inside to make us laugh properly ~ laugh at ourselves and the various journeys that come to fuck all except quickly forgotten holiday snaps....
When if they were honest, especially about the endless weird mix of vanity, fear, self reverence and tendency to fabulism.... never mind causes of the double edged sword stuck in the back.... which is what is genuinely human, is ...life...
Alive.

Anyway where was we.... fear. All the pretend evangelists quite rightly

oh yes.... fuckin bleak people under about 45.... what is most interesting, and this is a half a decade long thing, I am lucky and do have a conscience, wonder quite rightly what one becomes why is it and likely being human it'll be dodgy and self interested, which doesnt mean buzz or greenies it means power and control and manipulation, except I'm far too arrogant to have ever felt I wished to control anyone, indeed it has always terrified me until I discovered one has a responsibility to act in control viz the kids... that is what clearly they want. It is oneof the wonders of life ~ all species, experiencing that revelation, one too fearful to let be seen... claro...


If society is based on "law" [cough cough loudly] and the ordinary boring Hull~manesque longterm quests for justice, be it unpaid pensions, all that, i.e. administration, thats all it is... bureaucratic battles, which rightly should be humanised via telling tales properly, reasonably unhyped at that .. i.e. getting issues into media... and the (the more I think about it I hope you have me down as one of history's accidental~'twas, talk about magically winging it on the Mr Mckay angelic spirit even if he hardly ever was available top answer his letters...accidental minor heroes/revolutionaries, because even if it may just be that by allowing the plebs to mass twattter all the names, dirt, faces, it may well have hardened the skins of the average social worker or fascist in a state funded onezie ~ howdya spell that not looking dont want top put self off flow with more tellytubbie vomit,
I facilitated almost the whole subculture of SM slagging off one nasty stasi injustice or the other.... "predicted" to the Appeal court in MY written submissions... [2005 well before dreadful QCs were hired in to do the photocopying]
everyones gonna end up inventing SM so you may as well give up gagging us all or...[must pull it back out, time for archives, and they are GREAT fun...]

But that was just luck, and remaining true to the self which was up high, second highest property,Black Mountains.... even if no heating except the lovely fireplace   Est'ndad  foraging to keep filled up ~ best of many outdoor acts...
Above all the fray....

Anyway far more important what you have done to your supposed "society" well I can tell you one fundamental, and I am pretending that i suffer too, which in the oral version, which works.... I am that which i never was, til the beginning of the last ten year cycle just reaching the highest point of parabolic wise even if too one cycle ended last year... her words, possibly that is more the problem, silly old imbeciles like Homer with his unicycle... of course there are cycles intertwining and overlapping and.... all closure into pretence it matters, of any concept or cycle is fascism...

From 6 or 7 years ago, a few year lull ~ to chew over why haven't frozen to death all the risk factors there and enjoyed, then taken back up a couple of years ago
One aspect to modern person does kinda worry me, or at least is intellectual conundrum, if law, psychology actually, family, indeed one version of humanity, is that we need context, as in we need people to be able to tell their STORY ~ simple, say, ten line summaries.... but every single person Ive engaged with one way or other last six or seven years, cannot.... even really apparently mensa highnumbered....
And some I have spent days. literally... barking begging ...crying... "please, please, tell me just the simple version of what you did, he/she/it did... they did....and indeed did not...just the simplest version because that is what society law is based on and.... xxxxxxxx..... "
Am I alone in ascertaining that almost no one can.....
In which case... there's a prob.





fear ~ small f, and all sorts of races.

The more you just trudge on, on course, because one is lucky to have established a few rather spikey little rocky outcrops, and mapped them adequately, yes you find reference here and there amongst the gurus ~ small g, to fear being at the root.
The more you trudge on you know that one of the great paradoxes of the age is the race to speak and dramatise for brutalised new media ~ and I do not speak of silly things like how on earth can you ascertain what a minister may be attempting to assert in a picture of a flag, and that so called leaders otherwise known as rather sulky office boys, even if there was one great aspect to him being he lobbied for stay out and his deposed brother wanted to stay in, but personality in politics is for a while at least going to be the raghead in the gunsights. In which case I think in fact there is a personality whom appears to represent no spirit, real nasty disingenuity ~ curious that in a time when it may be even easier to retwat statements from a few years back, and being above the ridiculous fray almost by definition part of the jobspec...

Analysis being shoehorned into fifteen minutes, and this ridiculous in that it is likely cheaper than ever to allow an hour or more on a subject, is the problem along with the pretend magnanimity playing to camera of personality broadcasters.  All that really is the key is properly dealing with, and debating even if you must... what do things, and even rather a lot of the words used to relate the things going on... really, mean.
Now the fashion, and it is like this, not~being~pregnant prior to 30something may currently be the fashion, but there kinda is only one other call it opposite if we must, fashion that it can swing back over towards. And the same is true of the inevitably problematical trend to the sounbyte, and the over~loud (we could say UKIP woman in another life would have been called just quite simply, gobby, who has become some dreadful new default and pulls the tone aside into her supercilious... yuck I dont even want to think about it even if one should write an essay on her contemporary yesterday...)....
It is quite incredible, in fact it isn't because evolution is random, I mean take that extraordinary, and I do mean that word; quite astonishing little fish which spends several weeks Bob~the~buildering lets hope he wasn't conned he could get NEA cash to start up a new landscape business ...
I forget the species name, but unlike the dreadful Cox man, more on him later, except quite simply, as always [even if getting a bit close to white supremacist male of the 50s of course Ive always inately avoided, please do not think otherwise, my only friends ~ proper ones, almost most of my life have been the brown and oddballs on the fringes, and not to dominate them either, an aware person, who knows that, or gradually realises that, as one gets into stage two of life being what you became, nevertheless you must spend a lot of time, and you probably do need a few years, double checking that it isn't over the line into dodgy tendencies, more later ]  
Simply put, one can come back to night after night an Attenborough and always feel nice, always have just enough of granddad Dave, being modest enough in front of nature [hahh yes, that word, nature, when you get back to what it should be, a good dollop of dave, of course that is the key, the wrong word, nature is discriminating, and to my horror I stumble into one I missed via my very very discriminating SM feed... ~funny that it must have been noticed, same initialisation... ; LIFE, if one stands back via an Attenborough, unpicks the even~with~him tendency to sensationalise small parts of a long and boring day for many a beast, we have not decimated HALF! ... of the natural world, nature, the beasts, in my lifetime half of all {well as usual overstated because they leave out the most "successful" beasts the biota, which plod along quite happily, quite as they always did several billion years, entirely regardless of us} life.. half of life  {big versions, meaning anything larger than a 5p piece, at any rate}on Earth has been snuffed out in my lifetime, gosh what a period in history to span, planetary jihad, juxtaposed with the rise of supposedly revolutionary technologies ~ which aren't, that's almost the point, I mean, it is inevitable that pictures of nightvision hit squads tommy gunning via quad or whatever else and ot'll of course be all the drone footage next which will alow the even more up close and personal... which takes democracy a word that doesn't mean much to the ultimate two~for~one ... a maelstrom of malevolent words and hacktivists of the choppy type putting out call to revolt and change, and on the other hand deep down who will dare to even attend an unapproved demonstration with all that heavy armoury available at the command of a Cameron tweet...

When one watches, and in fact it is more interesting in that I brought myself up, in concert with my mentor, on David Attenborough ~ who I am glad to report bleak teenagers, really bleak ones who simply cannot take pride in anything, despite being middleclass.... can become addicted ~ yes, almost a true usage, to his message and delivery, the wise, neutral enough, elder... it is a delight to watch, not so much him, but that decades on he can transmit the only thing of value.... a humane and above all the hype and self reverence
One can watch Attenborough for hours and hours and only ever feel that a good man old grandad is in charge, describing what it may mean without even trying, and certainly keeping himself 97% in the background....Cox, you are hurting within minutes... of him hogging the foreground.

lesson to journalists of the future, (nothing to do with Cox or other journalists like Dawkins, even if poor Kier [was it or the other one Dominic I forget] tried to bring a little sanity to the now far more serious war, of o'fence and fear via your silly screens and well I don't follow things much in the following dept because I know there are no "Apps" or is it Aps..? Je ne sait fuckin pas... nor care, because I have yet to hear of one that wasn't in one way or other invented 30 years ago I mean it way quite possible for the average ... oh forget it keep to the point, even if it may be the point
Lesson to journalists of the future, context as the authorities state must be considered, well that's all very well and infact likely a turn for the worse in that attempt at context without really deeply thinking about what a person may be about is almost impossible, but there is one context that is simple and it is in my opinion just about the one worst so called development of all....

That almost never do you hear any modern pundit writing, just take sugar, thirty or forty fucking years ago pretty much all of society never mind the fat rich, were made aware their breakfasts were being shovelled full of the nasty stuff because bigbiz makes more money for less effort selling it, nice little side effect too it is arguably addictive.... yet the whole of society never mind the bosses are such wankers that not one jot of putting the breaks on has ever happened....
Ditto babes on the tit... it is truly, I mean it almost does make me  want to go out and throw myself in the reservoir....
Still the same nonsense that has failed.... every other week some new pretend initiative.... cos everything has failed, tell em they are MURDERERS... the science categorically states at least several years of longer life if  titfed in tiddlerdom....
One equation is kinda immutable, loads and loads of clear info over 30 odd years, failure to even be able to listen to society, i.e. me, suggesting it is best for the baby's health, without bursting into tears and telling all and sundry I am a nasty bastard [true, i do not lie, except for one sneaky little misinfo i shall return to soon]... means culpable, homoside....

Anyway humans are so silly. Life ~  nature the wrong word really, when you sit at an Attenborough, the only suprprises that you thought all the truly astounding forms of living you had encountered via him 30 or 40 years ago, and a few books of course, dawkins, no he should be end of the list, Gould, Jones, Lewontin, Rose, ehh one or two others and Dawkins, rather a lot of Jews and Welsh bastards in that list so its what you do that matters, ask me, even if race is simply just a national frame of mind which is absurd....

Evolution, and life, that fishy, the one that spends several weeks gardening the seabed and creates a circular landing pad for any passing babe... surrounded by valleys and hills he has constructed, all I would prospect you could take your slide rule or angle measuring device to and find it almost perfect in symmetry and degrees etc ..
No human being could even begin to measure up to his almost computer perfect design, quite quite astonishing hippy picture with all the swirls perfectly set out... designed with geometric precision....now "we" are meant to be the beast who became builder.... of course we had it innus from the birth of the genotype.... well why the fuck did evolution not give us those particular genes he has such that he can eye up his own quite fabulous palace and knock it up without even tape measure never mind a good aerial view...
Evolution may well have given us the hands to wield spade and mix the concrete, she left out when dealing him the deck....
But there is no fairness or even sense in evolution.... dawkins entirely failed to EMPHasise because all popularisation of anything must have a political polemic attached.... because it only is popularised in the first place due the political, small p....never mind beautiful people politics and marketing,  his views are sold to the masses so

fear....  inamin

Life, when you do your work to just klnow that so many other crits have talents and inate behaviours and abilities which we would envy, it is not nature, it kis life, and certainly all visible to the naked eye life, in its own way is just as weird wonderful and valid ... half, murdered ~perhaps a word that means need not have been, in my lifetime... what a legacy.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

hop over the next one continued into earlier, it has the enemy innit

But peace (subtitle if you must, and of course like all words that are just about muddling along and bearing up to things like obvious wars and nasty two legs, stolen by the fucking Paulo and then all his disciples in even more dreadful selfreverential crap especially anyone who claims metaphysical maybe, or insight, in any specific way whatsoever, and even more claims to have ways of wellbeing to their prescription)
Peace, ruined word, wellbeing, even more laughable, is quite simply

(hahh freebath, everything I am about will always be for the sorts of person who may only get their head together adicted to a bath a day.... apart from anything else sucha  sad neediness takes up such a  lot of time, and anyway it is  the smaller keyring to go through a few days the ordinary aroma of the body reminding you you are human, and also that you should be above such effet silliness.... that almost all Western populationms have become obsessed by, in none of my abodes, offices or places that I am in any way associated with the last five years, ehh well one shortterm exception, has there been ANY chemical product at all and I really DO check.... am fastist, beyond a bar of simple soap, no perfumes, sometimes a bottle of cheapest possible no additives or at least its impossible of course to get no addatives as few as possible shampoo, ehhh....and that is it. No toothpaste, those lovely little machines  was introduced to for £3... if you shop well, £6 if you don't.. all I need. )
freebath, always just takes me, somewhere a bit different these days andthat never used to happen.
Firstly the image of the big glass thing with foraged items innit~ remeber that~ this is just a note to me when I get around to the last book, of the dead.... or maybe not. For all their nudge, you have created a range of people, i hesitate to even use the word if they cannot exist by dint of actually enjoying the fact that you can indeed eat almost anything, especially a week past sellby, and still be perfectly fit (I am known it would seem for astonishing fitness for my age)

Younger Green types may preach, but it is still so deeply scored into their DNA as if by stanley knife, you will not like anything that isn't from the certain approved sections of the supermarket. laughable that such cultures can be changed. And foraging for them doesn't work.

2. The three ages of man, the becoming, the being who you became, and the seeing who and why you became.... phase three is far more enjoyable than either one or two...
And.....
forgot the last oh no I haven't because that is the real key, not caring how you write, and:
perhaps, being reunited with a few suitcases of clothes discarded into storage a decade or more ago as too frumpy, too slightly not quite the right material, too just not right, perhaps looking dowdy or even yuppie when the intended effect is not.... and finding that with time every foible has evaporated as if steam on a cold bathroom mirror will by lunchtime not be there
All one petty vanities, or in your parlance body dismorphias, conceits, do~as~I~says~not~as~i~am[secretly]s....
fall away with pure peace and bliss and all those other dreadful wellbeing words that wouldn't know a happy man if they turned around and stabbed him in the back for suggesting they aren't...quite what their facebook advertises....


Which of course sounds like the words of someone given up on life and content to rot into the mould on top of the butter past its sell by date too....
No, quite the On My Daught's life..... absolute opposite, even if it is lovely to have arrived at that point where you ignore evey single text knowing it is impossible someone on that instrument of the ponces with the cool gear took to ....

Never been in such a functional state..... weird.... should be all fungal toenails and vitamin deficiencies by now.... never been so cast iron sure of the plot.... as the stew in the cauldron bubbles away some few years....
never been so resolute and in fact willing to take part (some of the time, worklife demands 3 days a week at least half the day wandering the hills)... the next ten years are sure gonna be even more interesting especially if you have done the research to perhaps know why, so....

never been so "healthy"...  health is as the wonderful mr Martin described, and him actual real scientist, lots of real tough exams, far far more intertwined with the state of mind than we will ever really figure....
Such that the actual intellectual [real, proper, studied reality in medicine which is fights for piles of cash and they even lie more these days as the data shows, omission is lying TOO!] version of what causes it may indeed still be thought of as almost magic....
OK so, what?! ... Now the very last thing on the planet I am interested in is tech... I can't even bear the word in full, and the shortform just as horrid. Machines at least has some slightly earth resonance of man and the enemy, and the older and wiser one gets one appreciates that though never innate, it may be the natural state.... at least once silly words were invented.
One may have taken some theoretical interest in the early brick~like mobile phone, as an obvious way to be liberated and Ive always been so atomised I hated to be fixed to any inside room, office, or town and especially city; but as soon as Clive Owen or whoever else it was in films like Close My Eyes connected such gizmos with expensive clothing and expensive parties, with that horrid notion that it is just an ordinary part of life in a certain sector to become those clad in chequebooks ... when actually it is a brutal nasty boring game to get there and avoid the madness on all fronts, certainly forget tech, being as the associations are so horrid. That doesn't mean that one is not aware of what other people may become, before facebook et Al was even invented I told the Appeal Court it was sure gonna mean you can't keep a lid on things, so don't bother....
 
But  take no credit for not understanding that all laws and zeitgeists have entirely unintended consequences, such as I just know, that it has become something where perhaps the majority nowadays have a kind of reaction as they log in to their email what with all those ridiculous emails from all the companies you network with clogging it all up, but of course cleverly they pop the odd one in fundamental to account maintenance so you can't switch em off entirely.... the majority as they open their lid are struck down with schizophrenic symptoms of a little high at what world changing little ditty they may find, and the more permanent low of no email flurry comes to anything never mind all the other horrid things which are delivered ...

Now, with the benefit of living, the only true remedy,  in hindsight almost all literature of the first half of the last century, upon which our notions of who we should be, is 95% pretentious waffle. But then you fiond a little nugget like that chapter hidden away towards the end. A chapter that intimidates as with such erudition the writer attempts a fine manifesto on what must be, if one is to attempt to be humane.
But what is far more erudite is just that rest which being simple machines, simple stuff going wrong, simple feelings of deferring control to aspects of it we may not be able to control, the reader is taken back, taken aside really with hindsight, into an entirely diferent parallel universe. Then it would not have felt so as the other universe hadn't been existed in, now it does.

ow onekind of creative endeavour  have always been snotty about is scifi. Only becauseof the unwhistful types who dream it all up. So spivvy in a writerly way.  So sure of futures, electric sheep or the violence, or loads of other surefire prediction.

But things can never be predicted, the big things....  the feelings of people.

Add in some popular parlance and.... despite the likes of the band of Top Shop clad and their purple rosettes, human rights.
I know that perhaps the majority as they open their lid now, or at least once they have been opening their lids for several decades, and yes we know all about notions of the right to be forgotten (you will never have, there is no accounting for whatever state becomes the next wildwest and sticks up all those things hoarded for years.... it's always a possibility... so you are never free of digital past, ever. And the right to forget, don't be daft....
All i want to be free from is the rights people believe they have, increasingly the last just five or seven years despite all the data, to assume....

Sucha  bleak and ultimately empty business of browsing or researching any topic.... such an obvious journey into absolute powerlessness....
Do not assume that one day there will not be Human Rights movements, to claw back the right, not ever to have to open the dreadful lid....











So what does the goddess have to say?

Don't bother even looking.
So, having at last gotten back to ... hmm what?
The problem with the way younger generations have been hoodwinked, is that older ones need the momentum of that utopianism within, them, based on absolutely nothing as only two things sell, the spivved up version of everything, or the other version .... and the two versions are entirely incompatible. Which is a completely bland way of stating what is not for stating.
Almost everything becomes, has become, trite. But what is not even interesting, just a fact, as soon as one way of existing overtakes and with all those poking the nose in, ops, for example the homeworker may be checkable by dint of the link in to the server ~ what a curious word that is, where some fuel gauge is forever rating you .... it all becomes even more horrid. Nothing to do with me. My only use of a computer is here and a few other chapters.
But spend an afternoon with a rather good little book, from the age before machines or at any rate half way into last century when machines were at the stage when it was all quite rugged and tech fixes to even fairly simple problems~ for example the hinges of aeroplane surfaces freezing up at the freezing temperatures up high, were not even yet on the horizon .... just an ordinary description, even if in pretentious poetic words, transplants you into a mental state which feels entirely different state.

Put another way, I know how it felt in those times before much in the way of screens which were in any way any "pleasure" to be sat at; the screen becomes a little more less horrid to sit at; but there is no accounting for evolution backwards when even one of the world's largest electronics providers, ehh that's been around may a decade Mr Sony, cannot even manage to sequentially number photo files so as one can carry on as before with one simple folder where you stick your art. Put another way every single change of the smallest beast in the food chain of the operation, and it is hours of aggro readjusting. And when you have lived that for several decades, you hate every single time you open up the lid.



Friday, 21 November 2014

The curiosity.

Now, hmmm... 
Gosh 7am already... and so much to do, nice stuff, at last stuff.

Must put some notes to finish yestoff.

And then maybe one day as the very last step up to the apex of the parabola is reached mid December plus a day or so... I shall write in properly laid out sentences and paragraphs.

What was that? poetic? there was a good one earlier, maybe it will come back.... something about the absolutely most lovely poetical rejoinders...

Affluenza, even, complicates it. if one were to own that magic wand and wave it over just a few little problems, it may read, illusion. 
Any visitor to the USA say twenty or more years ago, from Europe, may be struck by several inconsistencies. Apart from sex and tits out in your own back yard being illegal, it is that it is quite obvious that America hates youth. Well at least 25 years ago when I was so bored with the hatefulness of YUK and decided I may benefit from loads of cheaper booze. The whole place may as well have had their own Berlin Wall: "don't even think about having a relaxed beer at cafe club or even razorblade bohemia because its so illegal we'll card, scowl, boss you at every turn" 
Ok so you know where you are. And also you can feel it, or could, in the way that younger Americans even those quite liberated from absurd backwards confines of religious nonsense cowered, furtively fled into ghettoes of secrecy in so much of what they were about. Almost everything about them was disapproved. Fine.

So, almost, of course, you don't get much in the way of really messy intellectual development, hence Pinker.... a parody of born 50, and remains control no matter what may actually be the latent truth of it all. There are no really great minds in America. Even my Lebanese part~hero....

However, there is just opne thing worse than almost universal fear and disdain for youth, and that is to pretend otherwise.

Now, by some lovely poetic turn up to the trousers, several years ago I happened to run in to the only fine ish mind in Wyeverons.... 
Mr Greg...from S.A. haute bourgeoisie but took it on the chin with a smile....
And real words "I was brought up to hate the nigger, that is who we were... so I enjoy every bit of figuring what it did to me...."
Obvious, but much more important for a confirmed Anglophile, in the best traditions, which sadly did not ever exist, attempts to be a real thinker as he assumed he would find here reading many years our PR....
"The British assume that abroad they are not thought as some warmongering troublemaker..... and in rather a lot of ways the bloody problem!"

But that doesn't bother me, other than Pilger informed many years ago on us....

However there is one aspect, well... more than one. Even if perhaps at root one: Yankees are pretty open about their disdain for younger people, and nowadays have monetised them via their privatised penal sys, brother top judges and prosecutors who feed it. Whist we pretend that we are a society pandering to the youth in all sorts of ways especially their pocket, being emptied...
By their elders.

To me, the more you fall back, so fuckin laid back I write a poem every time I wander to my office, just because  can.... stand back and just muse.... rif upon what's goin on...
Perhaps the clearest really rather opposite of what the PR says ...little contradiction, is just how even more hateful of the youth Britain is, being those dumbass Americans carry on monetising the elders as focus all the endless meds which don't make much difference to their lower life expectancies....
But YUK..... secretly~actively~conspiratorily.... just so absolutely in every false move of its increasingly lardier arse... 
is only interested in one thing, how to squeeze every last single penny out of them... and all the job ops which are forever fostered.... by ensuring they are as twisted around the rope of contempt as humanly possible. 
In good old America along comes a bit of New York Dolls or Ramones and the fuzz beat up their audience at any smallest opportunity. You know where you are with that. Here, along comes the older you get the more you appreciate some genuine qualities in him that fine Mr Rotten  and our elders and their tribe tolerate it a little more readily, perhaps not only because of the tolerant society PR, but it is amazing how speedily in fact all that was accepted in the upper echs...
And largely because the last refuge of a scoundrel society is one where almost anything the younger generations are about some fat 30 year old will deep down be figuring how they will profit from them. One weird way or other.

How can "we" "enable" "them" with freedoms to ghettoise into fashion, nightlife, hip workspace creative place ... make every place some kitsch twee version of Tellytubby Place ... is perhaps the exact opposite of 
Well, put it like this, unless some post 40 something is a real twat and gets his imagined kicks from sticking it into some bimbo half his age which by dint of being half as challenging in finding some way of truly enjoying it, younger people ~ anyone under 40, are truly boring... because as you transit into that decade well perhaps you take it all subconsciously a bit more only have a few decades left seriously ... you at least want to try and figure out some of the basics.... some of what you were 

(that was a quite good one, no butter is not "like sunlight or fresh air.... don’t use vague rubbishy simile that every other dumbed down idiot slips into... think of something maybe real, if you want purity, butter is as tasting the snot of a newborn babe...")

head into and beyond the fifth decade... younger people are boring, have almost nothing to offer, just like the dreadful chap off radio 4 fawning over old popstars in his pretend intellectual crappy way, middleaged men living in that dreadful world for years gain nothing for it....  
Younger people simply have no possible way of getting the depth, stoical appreciation of anything... philosophical bent... which is the only conceivable aspect to existence makes it worth bothering living on.... in other words, are no fun. And there be the key.... tolerating, longterm,  their immaturity, working with it, being there years and years unaffected by their footstamping and design flaws.... is in fact the only challenge worth bothering to challenge yourself with....

Which is of course why elders exist, to discover this very thing.... 








"that tweet"
sums it all....up.

Now, a real, brave, chronicler, with a little "hang on Mr Redvan man...." thrown in...
May have in his yet to be gotten round to first class material... the interview which sums up what a great socialist candidate may speechify.
It is called a challenge.
Challenging is what civilisation was based on even several thousand years ago.

"righty ho Mr postie, around 30 something, so you tell me that since privatisation they have increased your hours considerably, cleverly trimmed your benefits without it being easy to put your finger exactly on the stamp as it keeps moving round the envelope, you are now continually absolutely fucked from tiredness.....all of which you offer quite angrily... yet you tell me you are completely above all notion that some political operators may actually if you take interest in them or just union types, attempt to rebalance it a little for you, with you indeed...."

If I were socialist leader I would ignore the silly establishment and bumchums, silent contempt.... and rather challenge MrVanman:
" you got what you wanted, sucker.... you became the dumbed down petit bourgeoisie we've known about since Zola.... you cannot even get out of bed without offending me with the smell of chemical you douse yourself with and in wales its ten times worse when you get in a lift in my universe you would just as readily sue for the offense, of aftershave or whatever poncy new words they have for it...
"You have spent several decades just being exactly what they wanted....
"And you don't even have the energy to stand up a little for retaining basic rights and work~life~balance, that fine Johnny Kraut takes for absolute granted, and still manages to be top dog economy.... and find room for half a million more ragheads a year...

TBC

The used~to~be farmer types one would have hoped had had some influence on the producers of such a slot may actually have the good old fashioned spirit to rejoinder "hang on, I mean we rather like the fact that on Sunday no one can harass us through our letterboxes, would it really matter if that applied to Saturday too..... indeed may it not in some ways be a bonus.... and anyway if you run things well, dvelop your product well, quality may far more likely cause you to prevail rather than the gimmick of rushing everything next day that only children have the time to actually notice..."

Now, the last bastion of the rascal....

...would of course be growing up, (above 400m), and passing 40 becoming all bombastic bout the generation or so below.
Or that is what we have been propagandised to feel, not even think, pure fear....
When even on farming today the spokepeople, elders, are so absurdly enthral to, what?
"The whole of society has defaulted to buy now, get it tomorrow, or 3d print it just in time... and if you don't get it on Saturday having bought it off ebay the day before, the supplier will forever get bad feedback"

So, back to the killing floor of the place where long ago I declared 'till be free from all the pretence that everything is nice and warm and cute... the shopwindown into free speech.

But just for a moment back to the above: No back to the window; I love this window especially when my babe is doing her curious thing...herbiz.... all I know is we both let our hands wander to bums and shortarses... as they see.
[always audible, conspiratorial pretending, but indeed deliberate broadcasts]
" I'm more Juden than the most Zionist meanie, if ever I break my mould and Christmas catch a little of Scrooge on the box, I'm usually too beancounter to spend the electric money on having on if i did have one which i don't, it would be high fives all around for my hero....
  "I know how to shop, and any slightly larger purchase I might spend weeks looking up....
["because, shop well, and it leaves time not wasted earning the extra if you shop bad, such that one may use ones time for the more important things than work, being just about everything is more rewarding than that kind of work~ the kind people are forced into, so much just a pastiche, work is cutting the nails of Welsh lambs, without the expensive sheep grabbing device to make it easy.."]
" the big joke on just about everyone is that all these supposed competition devices, ebay, liberalisation of sales ops, all that, ok I admit there may be an element of overall decartelisation, in some places, as we know certainly not in electric, or in insurance or in many of the so called essentials, but I just laugh... for all of ebay, for all of the look~at me... they may well nudge the prices down ... but good old centralised economy still dominates, Currys have it all a bit cheaper.....all.

Which does not interest me other than poor poor humanity, twenty years of  all that neo liberal wank, doesn't work, your society was just fine with a few competitors maintaining reasonable prices, and perhaps being a little easier to monitor, than the billions which in fact almost do the opposite and it seems that many have given up actually bothering to do the simplest of actions being check out in the prices paid on ebay for a bog standard rather good little consumer device are not (over some time) in fact MORE than buying said device from a many~years in existence larger retailer who may indeed be blackmailable into honouring the standard guarantee you get as a matter of standard legal right....

In other words, poor you, about half of you, one way or other employed in the opening it all up and promoting all the choices.... which in most areas of life, do not work.

ut what is interesting, is how the spokesman on Farming Times, him well into 50s, is stuck.... in the silly tyrany of the times, "boo hoo poor me, if they cut back one day out of the six they send the post van round, out here in the stix~ where it was always going to be dearer to do anything for the most basic economic sums, we'll go bankrupt, because everyone expects next day [or whats their phrase ehh stock it at the last possible minute? ..]"
No.
Anyone who has reached perhaps 40 odd and who doesn't have several family members to spend a hell of a lot of time grappling with, never mind several interests that make their time just fly by, and who even notices that something ordered on Monday doesn't through the box for a week...   is unreal. Time zooms, even for them on the dole ...
So what the quasi~farmer is actually saying is, we are enthral to the 20something ~ or rather a particular propagandised by the admen version of that story..... and always will be.

As are the whole of our ridiculous media and society who sadly do have some hold over the political, and my postbox...
(hahh what a boast, imagine being SO together ... I mean so fucking on the ball, even if police checked as well, that to a certain extent one functions quite normally part time in society.... yet, ten years, well actually I believe always, but certainly the last five, and once we get out of the weird valley several Ive had a slot in my name....
Not one, never ever, nothing.... comes through my slot direct or junk marketing....ever.... [just a few regular items from the gov, all of which are so performance art when you see you'll chuckle, all I want is just one knowing chuckle...]
I am so fucking military slash and burn ... that never ever do any of their hidden untickboxes anywhere ever get through my defences.... and it is so lovely.

But it does concern me that even the farming programme


Inverted snobbery....

If one were to attempt, as one must do, being elder, a simplification of, what happened.... why did one father bad enough, enthral even if he was not really even aware to Margret's pinnickerty little view of what to be, which in her intellectual paucity could only evolve into bourgeoisie little vales, putting the cash value of the new cash cow over the ones left behind, meld into the modern versions which fuck me are even harder to figure....
But one must not give up, personalities are perhaps like the "terrorist threat", as mad as the notion that we have had far far more than I believe the one murder we have actually had the last seven years since seven seven... and of course our fine monitors stuck behind their monitors far too long will have thwarted a few real threats for every propagandised batch they process that are as likely to have come to something real as a modern day father is to actually see through his crying footstamps to jump through every fiery hoop systems demand just to be dad.

None of which interests me any more, I am the only lucky one I know, absolutely no other levels to my personality whatsoever, I just lived nine years solo dad and a few years some other lifetime rehearsal for that role, mentored, eldered, and it is a life on a different better, sometimes harder~ that's the point, level.

But it should never be saccharine, pompous, over bourgeoisie, and fraud is seen through.

You snob!

Hahhh ...well it was hahhh... at the waking hour, I shall not even utter the word byelection.... so irrelevant you forget they are even on.
Snob takes one back into pompous, pomposity

Thursday, 20 November 2014

intermission, though would it were the other way around...

Now, the elder.... even if then, not
twenty three of 4 years ago, I recall as if today the very moment, a copy of Mr Dawkins beautiful book was put into my otherwise occupied mind. And several of the others I followed it with, but from the turning of the final Selfish page, I, not really too erudite, was left with a sense something wasn't quite all right.

Perhaps simply, even if it is about everything, the engaging writing and obvious scholarship, and damn hard work developing beautiful theories around beautiful observations, great....
Except that it is not great to be closed off in awe, as in why bother trying to think,  I could never match such work, and sxo clearly run forward in several further tomes....
But, simply: hmmm.... it is as if something is missing, yes I get it entirely that the replication of its own DNA by any means, almost, no logic, just does it work or not in which case it will not be selected.... is unbeatable.
But It leaves out something, the book that is, it leaves out just that, that there is no "rightness", if there was some kind of ultimate goal then like that fish [you do the work] which can actually change its sex, we wouldn't have to listen to all the moans of those requiring their interventions on your cash cos they had a weird time as kids, rather spend the cash on treating definitely entitled scenarios as in cancer withing a\ few weeks rather than months as present....
Or the one beast, or family of, which may indeed [in some natural state] be built for recreational sex, or at least as Bonobo may, use it as a political tool.....
Be in possession of both organs so that one could have genuine fun with the self, as some marine crits indeed can.
In short, there may be a whole aspect of shit happens, and weirdos can randomly do just as well, and don't think any creature is developed to any rational ends....
Which I know full well is not part of Dawkins position, either way...

BUT!!!! ... only, when I gradually dipped into some other writers, especially Mr Gould, did I discover that there are different positions, and most important of all, a few years later did I stumble on some Lewontin and Rose which suggested there was a right fucking scrap going on.....it is personal.

At which point, when one had been crushed by Dawkins beautiful and stern persona and scholarship, all of a sudden, HEY ! ... this isn;t black and white or at the very least it may be black and white striped, but it has gorgeous purple fishnets on which are just as exciting a part of the whole biz.... and no one has figured why... that bit works as it does.

In other words, Dawkins v [should be &] Nowak et Al 2010 otherwise known as Wilson....
is thrilling, is great, means it isn't finished yet, means.... hope....means
That just as happened in my preweb small world first time I encountered all this, ENGAGED.... when I realised no this isn't just one beautiful person with his impossible to beat beautiful theories... that in fact behind the scenes there was a right bloody personal rumpus....
that inspired and drove me to confidence.... that it is worth dipping in and out of that which we will never know  for sure one way or other, yet, the INCOMPLETE representation of it all being selfish genes may be one of many causes the effect being a  species pertains...  
may almost have been written by Maggie, for Maggie....
And there is a culpability in one respect, such an erudite chappie.... should surely have made far more of, even just may have deliberately included some blank chapters, popularising the thing, to, humans.... on the little business of by human standards it really is really very very "accidental" "weird" ... and in truth never truly figuarble exactly what is cause effect rationale....

End of intermission, were it not for that selfishness, and certainly anti~natural activity being children knowing so so well their elders is who we are and that goes on years and years...  I would have carried on looking into the absolute delight of it all, that they're all arguing and at each others throats...  Would be before the random diversion as one can never even begin to see through the mask for a year just for starters...
Would have continued as much enjoyed hobby and maybe I would have had the killer essay on Dawkins & Wilson ...

Except i do have exclusive proof that evolution can work backwards....
Commentators, pundits, radio speakers, journalists [Wislon hisses, love it...you can smell the sulphur fuming out his nose]... in some pre, ehh,what... pre~dreadful~ well you could do an essay so easily, they all sound so the same so hipster metrosexual, actually quite GQ mag not that Ive ever even seen it....definitely of course so Apple matey connected and go play some cool kinda quasi sport on the pitch next to thingy the famous one....
Commentators in the pre little boys trying to justify their BBC salary by trying so so hard because they think that they have the Blueprint ... hahh what is that term, SSI or summat similar... that blueprint that will ensure most genes collectively sampled and rocketed sky high to the moon and beyond

Commentators in the days when men had brains, would know of exactly this, that DISSENT is good, stimulates, brings in new people, opens it up, is good, is human, is human because it shows to newbies that not all is already figured so muck in by all means, is not finished off by dint of one viewpoint and his sales,  is uncontrolled and uncontrollable.... is exactly what we should be doing....
Would chuckle at just that, great book sales because new people are curious at the big scrap.... because people really would, be drawn in....
But today, no uberjournalist pr spindoctor of their own dreadful sanitised image over and above playing along with the same process via PR folk of their subject, could even imagine that.... I know as Ive been rather interestedly listening....
No one has said, surely at least this is GREAT for....
dot dot dot....
SSI... ESS evolutionary stable strat...hahh i remember and thats good going as due rather too much to do with the average woman who thinks they can exist contrary to whom we so clearly are as both Dawkins and Wilson would agree .... in fact damn damn good, due them, haven't had time to reopen my biology library for near twenty years....

A fine enough, warm....

afternoon, sat outside, fine, healthy part rawfood, Mediterranean type foraged munchies... so perfectly in ... well, there is hardly a word that does it apart from those far too associated with enemy number two...of humanity.
What is the equivalent of the word zen for the person~ well it almost does have to be male person, who wants to say nothing whatsoever in his clothing  that the Jaeger or Portobello clad may be going along with... "he may have dressed J. for M., me Burton..." I have known enough Bohemians of all sorts of varieties to know they're all so effete they may suck up to the man who invented the cinematic genre of hating the environmentally minded, precautionary principled, just because his line is I am positively in favour of all your drug use just don't get caught here.... or my license really will be curtailed .... and he may sub their occasional pretend green event, on the basis he has the bar.... cover his three flippin rangerovers caravan of the Londoners...


Hahh if only a headcam, just in that one moment, two of them! Except that is the thing of them....
It is always the same kind of them, and one was of course brought up and dragged through the hedge by the very humble and ordinary, very, stereotypically so, really great peers who had Kevin as Dad ~ guiding them through absolutely fine with it Bohemia, juxtaposed with a bit of social responsibility, and a bit of necessary young 20s knee in the balls of .... well....
Now, on the great you~can't~have~everything in life, rather sadly my best woman ~ very very middle aged, quite a few teeth missing she can't be bothered to have "done" never mind bleached despite her often boasted of piles of gold; no hairdye ~ at least she has faith in my truth of "but to me the number one sexy thing in an old bag like you is that longish greying hair...." said that to an actual real Queen of the town a few days ago and....well, she is oneof them (lite, well only a little bit, really, so of course she couldn't take the absolutely sincere compliment any reader of both this and the last one ~ coming back soon... would know to be true and sincere.

Anyway forget all them, even if it should be about them, entering the marketplace [for their benefit, two sat there...judging, sussing out, is there some way you'll provide even pastiche of what they lust after so?]:
" hey....[quite loud, for their benefit, one judged me recently] ..you..... I wonder has...anyone ever had sex here on the shopfloor.... ? I mean it is the place of equalling us all out, and my good looks your big arse....  [hug hug] ...."


 not really profound...
Or that was going to be the thought and it will still be, because profound is certainly not pretty pictures anyone can take of new growth out of old trunks
(hahh that is profound!)
Any fucking facebook addicted but actually addicted to the notion that spattering the world with obvious lies the likes of a yogi teabag label at 10p just for the label spreading peaceand love with words they cannot even be bothered to spellcheck before posting to the factory... which fail to do other than make one sick at the same old fucking self reverential crap....
profound is, hmmm.... being there to redo certain things, because you do not know the story... which states that under normal rules of the universe it would not be possible to redo things like take pretty and always silly pix of plants or flowers....
There was going to be a minor (subject nothing to do with anything) profundity in so may years never noticed that...and what with all the time and energy and vitamins in the world swilling round...time to notice even that....
Being a last restart...right gear
New Folder
(thats big, in the grand scheme)
never mind back to the simplest form of data control and transfer possible....

And it, does that, by itself.... system about as 25~years~to~hone as you can get, file created by world class leaders been around many a decade... fiddled a bit with by are they richest company in world yet who own this blogging software....
And they can't even manage to get the thing the way up it always was and no one even suggested should be fiddled with... there isn't even a fiddle with it button.... unless that's broken too such that it hides....

No it is not profound, but it does perfectly represent a society that has no real self respect whatsoever anywhere in the West...

Right, back to the actual pure MY proofound paradigm, when i could be bothered.
"don't ever fuckin LittleMissQuote ..ME.... I did not say favourite, I said greatest..."
hahh.... so, yes a perfectly balanced biome, the stool as firm as can be, if under the microscope could put on ebay priced above the so interestingly manipulated down below cost, priceof at least silver....
All those ultra healthy symbioses

Now the really interesting thing one cannot put into words, because I can't be bothered, life, actions, the being, is far more interesting..... Just about half a decade back there was I speaking of a future I had long wished, hoped [wrongword, hope is the hardest of all to let be in the gastric soup...] visualised, envisioned, just thought appropriate, but the journey across the little wooden bridge over mountain streams ... well that's the problem really in the lexicon, journeys get you nowehere, but sitting in a pile of your own poo, and getting to like and understand the smell.... is the key to life or at least one of several on a smaller bunch.... me I pity the perfect metaphor for the age, far far too many keys on one fob, to be able to remember at a glance where every lock is....
Me Ive only ever had a few.

Anyway where am I, ehh yes.... "My envisioned future, is X.... " But it was only ever a two dimensional maybe something in almost some other unattainable quantum leap..... until it is, undoubtedly, is the reality. And being as I am honest enough to know what I may have spoken of being fantasy, even if a dream.... when that said for effect, I'm~nice~love~me effect ... becomes I love me or at least I love the chance to ... not sure exactly what the words are, but  love it that that which loved as future maybe, but not really as you need the crap in there to somehow free... to be what you intended but there is no map....

hahh what is the short version of that, well you say that you would prefer more than anything to spend your days your mind freed to somehow have the oomph to always carry through the figuring of what to say, intelligently, based on many years of reading ... as many opposing viewpoints as possible (which does not include the sadly bare of well written proofs or at least well written accounts accounting for the most obvious possibility that the mind enjoys its games played with itself...why not, if I were that quite remarkable thing the human mind I'm sure I would too....all the esoterica specialises in)
Be a sage, of sorts...mean it. I always have meant it, I spent years stacking up interesting clippings (honour the enemy~so much cant at the end of the day, is) and wishing to do a Potter+ of sorts.... but never being the person who can, and enjoy it.... until the turn of the decade.....


And what was the other thing oh yes.....
One thing I have never been is nihilist...never ever for a moment, there's a big big difference seeing through every mask, even if we have to leave aside our, or perhaps my, I don't care what I am because you cannot change some of the innate ...  leave aside tendency to think who someone may be, otherwise you would never get your legover which is a fundamental human need never mind right. But it is the entitlement, that is interesting... entitlement to some pretence, or even that one line .... wasted my precious time.... but that's ok... hmm, i don't have a colour left for the cloying rejoinder dressed up as what should never be said or at least commercialised...
But of course what's gone wrong is as has been put many a time in various guises, the second half of last century became that eventually where the younger person buck is the easiest to mine, all mine .... and it would be heresy to remind ehhh actually they will never have the balance that comes with rotting into sagedom...
No one ever, is a waste of time..... that is exactly the whole damn point and becomes main ingredient....  in the rest of it. five, twenty however many years later one looks back, you never feel deep within anyone was ever a waste of time.... and some are real gifts, in the sage pie which if you are fortunate enough to get to baking stage, with no bitter envies or resentments.... is only ever going to be a pleasant morning in the making and the baking...



I should not really fall prey to the need, for shekles, off him....
Especially, so may years I never even noticed the camper van.

Hmm, lts of new study of late (and one does have to admit, a vary very occasional pot of stew with real protein and amino acids and all sorts of other magical ingredients the food contructors will have some job reconstructing as no one really knows what all the bits of the jigsaw do... jolly good stew, even if the dreadful children that are our journalists would never think to add to the great heralding of lower food prices [ simply don't believe, especially if you factor in the huge extra aggro making it over to outlying Aldis or other cheap crap, as COOP remove 3 out of 4 staple own brands _ so staple that as a work of the usual performance art Ive spent many a day capturing the poetry of the cheap butter section being so often empty ~ emptied, so often, when the other sections are untouched.... and then there are the crackers all the scum live off[ not me I eat better than I have ever..] .. it used to be they would fill up on COOP owners at about 50p a pack, still dear compared to other cheap versions in the big towns and cities (yes, I hate COOP.... because they pretend they are other, andthat is worse than straightforward simple in your face with the cattle~prod fascism)
They must have cottoned on....so removing their own brand such that paid placement brands at three times the price, is not of course putting prices up.....
Anyway, so all rushing to the bottom, so Evan Davies and his spineless llk can herald... what they will fail to as I am sure Waitrose has the Beeb luncheon vouchers deal... deal
A big pot of once a year ~ just once... Aldi beef stew,   with of course lots of veg chopped in, well let us just say that you sure need the veg to give the feelable (hahh new word my lexicon the last year) vitamin lift...
Jolly good cauldron of if you put a kilo in you may just get the same buzz as a third of a K other branded meats....
Food deflation? yes.... they are genius at reducing the food side of the equation so on the qt and subtly
Jolly good feed up, nine hours..... oh yes, mustn't forget.... now my life is so peacefully pure zen you wouldn't believe it.... but one little thorn in the bum, truth is..... rather sad little problems, shared.... hahh ... does maybe take a day to filter through.... smallest weight left, vapourised into .... just the sadness of it is so so hard to even help nowadays of default to " you are abusing me"...  anyone, even the most obvious case of it will cost you lot half a million via HRC ... and something really could be done, so simply.... and I have the best gang of little helpers ready imaginable ~ criminal/sanity/hardwork/subsabuse/workrate/autheticity/notcareaboutownappearace/knowofallmystoriesoffalsehelpers.... ready on standby, possible.... but  
Well, it isn't even people are their own worse enemies, I suspect in many ways we have so perverted what people need to be to suck up to the cashcows or people who define their liberty .. indeed simple oldest fashioned common sense and simple black and white red lines ...are to them not visible.

Doesn't mean it won't stay that way forever though..... yes Mr Judge, hope, is for tough guys.... I do hope.... hope is what civilisation is....and no one can predict the future. ever.

I should not [please note the abscence of the ' ]

really.... such a huge part of your own, and history...
Every scratch, every ...

Hahh slow and steady wins the race...... there's no success like winnin', but winnin's no success so tall

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

hmmm

profound in, even if it is the future that will be profound in recorded nothing, perhaps about the opnly image that has absolutely no hidden agenda, whatsoever, what you see even if not as gorgeously symbolic in person, is what you get
Or may

 

Even my own Poglet blood...some few months back feels like a lifetime, may as well be but patience teaches you that..in time.... the point of life...
speaks through the dreadful instrument the default to speak what is not the truth...one truth missing out one bit of course the bit about being propogandisaed to put child labour before time for a meet .... nice people....
 "yes, they.... some of them worked where I am forced to,  but their bleak materio~selfishness everything just their appearence and lust for stuff, sure showed through even to me..... and the rest of us....

to never be continued....
But one is always here..... unlike some will be for theirs.....

poor Nigel

there is so so an easier way.... want to balance out the ebb and flow a little then just tell the truth

A (hahh this only crystalised of late ~ interesting really, I hadn't really seem this as unknowable byproduc) ~ in a highly bureaucratised society, so many forms, I mean just to get benefits its about 75 pages, and then back and forth to one appeal or other.... never mind if you have to fight just for the human right of knowing your own child, with a slimmed down society where even the ICACU official solicitor admits to me in person that they are so so overwhelmed with cases it is a impossible to get through their workload [unless you thgreaten with erudite nasty threrat of media and suing for dead kids]. And where there is reality no more Citizens Advice bureaux de change here for not being told on fiorst contacvt I do not like your passionate sadness inside you are threatening me no we cant help or talk to you, when in fact they never could help as they have so few actual legal experts to help photocopy the thousands of pages of rules

Johnny Foreigner, not first language english, will have far far tougher a ride when ineviatbely he comes up against Lady Kafka and her paperwork just to get through legal aid hoops.. indeed I realise that the whole "experiment" may indeed have fatal flaws.....just ion the too may languages barrier...it cannot make sense is not viable even if I love federations meid make iot one world...
And YOU Johnny F when it is your kids.... you will not be able to even begin to fight in stystems you are not fully literate in...

B poor little lanmbs, the illusion, lets say perraps the Roma were accidentally arned, it is quite astonishing actually these lands several leagues or so round ere.... how many claim to belong to that particular club when it suits them....  
When they go on a rampage getting their own back for how inhumanly the Central Europeans have treated them the last 100 years odd....
 this is the land where the phone~in~to~the governemnt~to~find~news~of~missing~presumed~shot relative line...will be premium rate....

Unplanned profound...found

(I am not a moaner, now you see an example of racing fast to absolutely nothing much happens outside the tightly sealed coffin of a techno~democracy, perfect example, it always was less expensive to provide services to larger conglomerations in the towns and cities ~ one paid a price for the massively enhanced value in pottering around the sheds and overgrown patches of further flung lands...in an "economy" ehh not really being it's all rather false     where absolutely every click and Pole will be monetised ~ just wait til their lifetime depressive tendencies click in, middle age all developed affluenza... and that's factored in to the sums! ....and please, I am on the soapbox, the real one, of no borders, but lets make up in the cash saved by enforcing jolly strict trading standards, never mind even better standards of plumbing [officially fucking awful nowadays, unless you are measuring it all by even the newbuild perfectly designed such that almost everything starts to break and fail just as the warranty company goes bust a few years down the garden path] and Ive done the research,.... that'll fox em! 
Never mind create a national spirit whereby fuck health and safety, what is the waste potential to every smallest activity, product purchase and plane ride...... which will be even more foreign language to the lets face ity its always going to be the top quarter, most hustling bucks desperate here to get more than they can there [and live in more cohesive society] , traveller who will breach our fences one way or other....  
because it is better for health and safety if as even yanks now advertise, we kinda slow down and take care of the garden
... I am not a moaner, recession treble dips are the most wholesome of treats... 
oh yes forgot my point, I am not a moaner, I understand because I bother to think, that quite quite obviously Royal Mail if every footstep of my lovely postie {me him many a time laugh at the madness now in Notting~hill~on~wye he's served many a year ~ he has a big patch, he of the big parcelforce round... ever larger as he is stretched ever further.... 
Rustic bumpkins always had to pay more for their pre~nationalised services....  money is the very last thing that matters, as one has to admit being a fairly lifelong at least half time hermit.... that its the all innit together huddled over a cuppa which of course as every risk~factor shrink has preached decades... is good for you ~ as long as you have it in balance 
Because we are only creatures of thinking our way through ever larger tribes and their  ritual...

The only thing I moan about is don't take it so so personal, and don't be so pathetic not to state it is absolutely obvious in the age of even more bean counters than ever, sooner or later the price of rural everything will have an enhanced rate sheet.... 
Despite the rates for skivvying being offered by all those nioce Guardian types that moved out of the cities looking for nirvana and ways to make real their enlightened feelings deep inside......illegal.

Now, if one were plotting what next..... some kind of rural ...hmmm
Thats the q
Tories hijacked the countryside alliance which is all silly townies pretending to be squires ... I know no one who has ever been on a hunt, held a gun, and as for shovels, everyone else owns all the land....

Anyway, profound, oh yes three levels..... isn't it quite astonishing (and the fools who state "i run linux" I am sure you do but I am also sure you’ve spent weeks burning the midnight oils to learn it, and also figure can this gizmop or that which one needs to just plug in and fuckin play as it says on the box... blah blah.... never mind if one were part of a small community and may need to share machines, thats then others who may be as it is lost to what even antivirus is and habits ensuring its always used .... 
It is simply far too complex, difficult, and yet again causes too much yet another screen layout to get used to, give up I hate it all....
for a few people to move over a few old machines, they really do rather depend on to quickly and efficiently process several sources of data ... 
To shift elsewhere. 

Profound,  have the tidiest desktop ever. OCD all the garbage chucked out, well not actually, rather filed away and treble backed up for the archives....
The most standard underclass standard all extras stripped out long ago machine.... 
only Glary Utilities~ never con you into downloading something for their benefit, AG Free (go to free avg and ONLY ever use the "download from CNET" complicated version)...for seven years those two services, rather stable Chrome retrofitted, even if the poor youth, bombarded by pesky Explorer regularly demanding it is put back as default poor things dont know how to answer its moans and emotional blackmail....
Always updated, antivirused, and Glary Utilities a few times a week....

And yet, been there since start.... button reinvented....   
The one thing you do forget, is to bother to do that which by now you really really shouldn’t have to bother..... spending yet more horrid time doing.... clicking into widows explorer, or fuckin navigating there via other ways, going to "desktop" folder.... to find the things that are actually on the desktop because theyve been there months...
But arent on the desktop that you can see, cos some kid at Microsoft or fucking Indian on Quat.... cannot ever do even their most basic job and ensure what is "in" "desktop" always shows "on" desktop....
And to get it on desktop so that one may spy it without x-ray vision you have to cut paste it out of desktop, elsewhere, and then c/p it back onto desktop where you carefully left it in first place to remind you it needed showing to your lovely green fingered readers....

Hiding, for several months..... why it is really profound,  

Except that is the very least of the many profound levels within this joy [real, i know what real means] imputing...pic


Now there's another thing, many years ....well not many, it is astonishing the nowadays amount of almost always women in the media who when interviewed about ..ehhh.... ordinary stuff like a business they state has only existed 6 years, or some fashion or habit like slashing own fingers on selfies for attention, but not ever to actually mean it [stat speaking, anomalies off the end of the bell curve]  that they cannot have been practicing for longer then ten as they are only about 25 ...
just amazing the failure to know that "many many years ago, when I first started/first xxx / blah blah" ... implies far far longer than the just a few years you talk of being involved in whatever silly Libby has brought you on to lie about....

eight or nine years ago I admit to being a fairly impatient person. never fully "type A"  and in the bigger picture type in reality laid back, even if forever making great fast moving plan b and C as people keep shifting the posts... landlords forever muck you around (in other places) being as UK they wont tell the Poles has the most fascist landowning regulations by far...in Scandinavia you get tenancies for life, here no defence whatsoever even if your landlady Grenow writes you a letter saying your a great tenant and safe for some half a year at least shown to the judge a few weeks later fighting the eviction notice she plops in the box the following week....
So have to endlessly make very very quick plans b thru z....  
Never ever struck down with a sense of entitlement to anything except knowing well ones own blood~ downstream, fortunate to have seen through the upstream clots many a year ago, and that is actual many....
 And understanding gradually with no chagrin... that without a good network of family or friends in the Masons in the background, you are always the tough side of the equation, which is exactly the opposite as Ive known a fair few the other side and all they ever worry about deep down is are their lemon flavoured new palls or even mates just innit for the cash....
Never ever for many years depressive, angry about anything, except when they ~ civvy and non civvy play games with one's own blood ("myblood" one of the very few contacts saved in oldest simplest possible mobile still in hand...) 
... because many many many years ago youi know that British bureaucracy is worse than any other European that regularly encountered, because the sunshine bathed Southerners especially, you realise that they play at it, not talking even corruption here, just.... the Cannes Mandelieu customs man, plays at fierce and obstructive.... but stand your ground, show him you like a Galloise too...and five minutes later he has a remembered he has far more important things to do such as the usual long lunch or or jolly good bit of crumpet and kip.....
Or usually both....and his airport is a ghost town officially speaking...i.e. do whatever you want no one cares
But the Britisher, with her boxes to tick.....
No never do you get an exemption due being grown up....ever.
Patience... yes, a definite gift..... now, there is a SEEquence..... it may take a long long time to get from going back to where it should start to a maybe bitter maybe sweet ending ... here.... represented in the above....
One of many.....
I have only ...well one should not personify anything on just one person
especially because it is a universal and has been there in writings for several thousand years at least, trials and tribulations as everyone will discover, are there to impute, patience.... 
See things through the wide angle, eventually.....  no filters, no help, no nothing..... just you and make what you will of it, it is indeed Up To You.... 
Except the instruction book was always there..... even if these days the first few pages are endless safety info .... and the rest


dot dot dot....tbc, ehh.... funtime, I know Ive really rather rambled on bout that but..... everything is connected, or maybe everything is as nothing as the ...tbc
I do however mean what I say, and do also say when Ive failed to deliver what said will... even if often one has to leave out the why.... which makes the filling back in the whys rather an enjoyable prospect
I do not even act in such a way as to hide my own ripples in the smooth flow of it all....  and a few weeks ago, even some opinions I assumed I would be keeping to myself and key team need to know....
No, ok its like this, even if I simply have no patience such as I can or want to play the smiley mask so never could be a politician unless I changed the underwear  and sexed up the cause rather than effect... 
there is only one fact Ive ascertained the last few years that has entirely fazed me, and may indeed cause me to act, so happens it was out of the horrid smarmy gob of my enemy, Mr fucking townie comes to boss rustic free speech types who actually tells me he will give a different speech if there is any record of the one he wants to actually give.... I mean what kind of fucking crap is that froma  so called democrat in a public meeting!!?? one of the uber nice we all are on twatter being so open and democratic crowdfunding generation under 35ish too....
He the problem. Authenticity is all there ios left after all else has been tried out and failed and theres good evidence and some facts remain...
And what is truly laughable is lardarse from sat in front of her screen so long, fluking a seat, and preaching "the future is digital, we will twatter our way to treble the voters..." no fuckin way round here anyone genuinely country knows its almost impossible to get anyone return an answerphone message unless they're  a farmer....
And as for the youth they so desperately want (so they say on their lit) ,.... hahh... they flurry obsessively for a few days as snowflakes may dance of a frosty day..... but a winter like last when the frost lasted a mere day or so,only, all winter....is true picture of what by default every single one of them is no matter what your silly degrees innit may say....
Once again, especially in the borderlands where..... deep down folk know its all unviable..as 'talways was......SO SAY SO!!!!

Anyway, dear voters.....honour means herald the words of the enemy in his meanness of spirit quite quite unfathomable ~ but then I can if one keeps it simple, townies from Solihul down my way on the train that never did manage to wire up with plugs never mind a signal despite the promises of the privatisers....new Jerusalem style.... only ever down for a day [one exception] the broadband too slow for his gizmos hes going to change the world with all night, brings him out in visible hives... "I was many years [ well as he's not far from 30 read  4 or 5... senior lobbyist, [and likely quite good so smarmy sneaky sincere in obvious lack of any passion,us country types dont have that disability] senior well respected lobbyist for Friends of The Earth.... we found that if we asked to discuss matters with elected representatives  Labour, or even Libdems, we were at least usually granted an audience and not heckled too much.... but if Tory,  we were advised not even nicely to fuck off and die, not even going to think of talk..." which I find genuinely very very weird, because what with their shooting estates for the tourists from London, and hunting and even just a bit of fishing and clays...appearances at rustic county shows... you really would assume it to be almost the other way around....
I am no convert, know they are all narcissistic twats, but, when I am told carefully a story, even from untrusted sources.... just told it LIKE IT IS [ believe me several generations unless dragged through a hedge and stabbed with bayonets seemingly nowadays don’t know how to any more] I do believe, and it coincides with my own lifetime agenda, well.... 
That changes everything...